DivorceWisdom

Sam's Blog

February 22, 2010. . . . As I Expected

The court hearing before the judge, the 7th we’ve seen in this divorce, was today at 10am. Room 8310.  I woke to relentless rain against the windows. Great. An hour drive to town in morning traffic and a downpour. Harvey’s attorney is a whiner. Mine is much more soft-spoken and practical in his delivery. I don’t think either has the... [Read more of this review]

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February 21, 2010…It Seems to Never End!

This entry will foul up the blog so far as I’ve tried to keep the dates accurate and in original order from my journals. As you’ve read a date and entry–that was the actual date of those events as entered originally in my journals. But this past November, 2009, I was sidetracked with family events and the holidays and haven’t... [Read more of this review]

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February 2, 2003 . . Never come back

We feel so trashy. Certainly going through a divorce is bad enough but knowing what he is doing or might be doing…how Harvey looks now; the things he threatens to us…we feel so trashy. It’s so embarrassing. It’s more than that…it’s makes us feel ashamed. We told no one for months. At first I hoped it would self-heal.... [Read more of this review]

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January 23, 2003 . . Leaks & Establishing Boundaries

On Saturday the water heater went out and water went everywhere…flooded the storage room, the hall carpet, and into John’s room and playroom.  I stopped by Target for plastic bins for everything in the storage room and a carpet cleaner to clean the carpets after dropping Ashley off for her 8:30am game. It all went on charge. How will I... [Read more of this review]

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January 16, 2003 . . The Argument

It’s so odd this divorce. We don’t argue. We’ve never argued harshly..not the plate-throwing, temper tantrums kind. We agree on nothing. He hurls shards of contempt at me but to say we really argue…two people trading slaps of words back and forth. We don’t. I’ve been pathetic. I am afraid of having a broken family.... [Read more of this review]

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January 14, 2003 . . Appraisals, Custody & Equitable Distribution

The look on Eddy’s face answered any question I may have had. When we drove home from Christmas vacation, I stopped in to see Harvey’s mother, Madge. His dad, Len,  was in a nursing home evidently with Alzheimer’s. Harvey’s family & I had never been close in the sense that we really liked each other but there had never been... [Read more of this review]

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December 29, 2002 . . Endlessly Stagnant

Life is stagnant. Will this ever end? Ashley & John are as tired as I of the turmoil. Tired of Harvey’s refusal to listen to what they want or how they feel. Tired of having to see David or know I’m going to court. I wish I had the money to just make us a life without dealing with Harvey at all. Evidently all of their lawyers–Carter’s,... [Read more of this review]

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December 12, 2002 . . “Hit by a Pretty Stick”

I will not be drawn into this affair. After Carter initially contacted me it was nice knowing when Harvey was out on a flight because we all felt a little less on guard around the house not worrying about him just waltzing in. Carter tells me more than I really want to know about Harvey & Carrie but by letting him tell me anything I may learn something... [Read more of this review]

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December 6, 2002 . . Threats, Ice & Birthdays

Sally calls me with a note Harvey’s left in her mailbox at work. She’s a flight attendant for the same company and her son is John’s friend from school. We’ve know each other nearly six years. It read…”I hear you’ve had a lot to say about me…call me…” “How should I handle this?”... [Read more of this review]

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November 23, 2002 . . We get away

Is this not bizarre? Harvey’s attorney, Pete, works for a firm…I call it the Knock Knock Firm…because of the names on the door: Knockerson & Knockerson. (Please any attorney’s out there…these names are fictitious…the real names only rhymed with knock) But the owners are uncles or something to our judge. They all... [Read more of this review]

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November 8, 2002 . . She’s quick

After picking John up from school we ran several errands today before going home. Ashley’s getting a ride home with friends. Her first year in public high school after grades K-8 in a private Christian school and the chaos Harvey’s dumped on us has created a chasm in her world. She’s realizing how different so many live their lives…how... [Read more of this review]

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November 4, 2002 . . A Date

I wanted Ashley & John to know what to expect and be comfortable in nice restaurants or on a date when they were older, so Harvey & I would take them on ‘dates’ occasionally. I took John. Harvey took Ashley. It’s sad now, I’m not really sure how many times he actually took Ashley out. I know two or three times, surely…but... [Read more of this review]

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October 27, 2002 . . Meeting Carter

This was totally strange. Nervous as we meet at the coffee shop. “They both asked me last October…a year ago…if she could bid her trips with Harvey as he was a good pilot who took care of his crew and she was fearful after 9-11. I believed everything they said until this past summer! And you’ve known over a year?” Carter... [Read more of this review]

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October 24, 2002 . . The Phone Call

The guy from the dirt bike store came to check the pasture for a possible field for his class. His parents divorced when he was 4, he’s now 35, and his comment was, “The adults hurt and move on. The kids are simply ripped in two. Their heart is ripped from their soul.” Please help me protect the kids, Lord. I ought to push Harvey’s... [Read more of this review]

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October 20, 2002 . . Mediation Visit #2

Earlier when I picked up the mail with the anonymous note, I’d stuffed it all under the arm rest of the car & continued to the school to get John. “What’s this, Mom? Can I open it?” He asked climbing in the front seat beside me. “I’d really rather you didn’t. That is from someone at Daddy’s work who... [Read more of this review]

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October 15, 2002 . . Mediation & the Anonymous Letter

Evidently in our county’s family court system, you can file for financial support, legal separation or both; appear before the judge and he’ll make a ruling if you can’t agree on the terms. Since Harvey doesn’t agree on anything, we always end up before the judge. Since we have children–minor children, that is–and... [Read more of this review]

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October 3, 2002 . . Out He Goes

Bill tells me Harvey has to list the things he wants to remove from the house. These are the only things he can legally take. I consider calling the sheriff’s office to be here…with his threats to me & the kids it would be reasonable. The locks on the doors are changed now. I think I’ll just leave the doors unlocked and not even... [Read more of this review]

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September 27, 2002 . . & Now He Turns on Them

“Where are y’all?” Harvey’s voice spits over the cell as I wait for John to finish Cotillion. “Cotillion.” I answer in the practiced, even tone now reserved for this divorce. Cotillion is etiquette class for kids. They spend an hour once a week in dress clothes learning manners…introductions, elementary dance... [Read more of this review]

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